Nothing Else Will Do…

In my last post, I was apprehensive about some new health developments that affected my status as a Peace Corps invitee. After a week of agonizing and barely sleeping, I am OVERJOYED to tell everyone that I am going to be fine. I got my lab results back yesterday, and it seems that I have shown significant improvements.ย  I am still trying to collect all of the paperwork for my doctor to satisfy the OMC inquiries. However, given the results of the lab I KNOW everything is going to work out, which I am so relieved about.

While I was making the medical arrangements and waiting for the lab results, I began to think about what would happen if I couldn’t go to Moldova. No really…what would happen if I couldn’t go? What would I do? What would my next move be?

Because… in spite of my Type A personality, where everything has to be mapped out and accounted for…this was the one time that I allowed myself to forget about a Plan B. My close friend said to me the other day, “I can’t believe you don’t have a back up plan. It’s just not like you.” In a way, there was a sense of shame and guilt that I felt for being ill-prepared and irresponsible, but as I pondered and pondered I accepted the truth:

I don’t WANT to do anything else.

Yeah, I have POST Peace Corps plans. I know what I want to do with my life and where I see myself in 5-10 years, but right now… in this moment in time, nothing feels right to me aside from being a Peace Corps volunteer. I’ve been obsessed with the idea. I’m passionate about the mission. And I believe in the power of this journey so much that I couldn’t find another basket suitable to put my eggs in.

I have my invitation to Moldova leaving June 8th. The obstacles are out of the way. Fortunately for me, I don’t have to worry about a plan B.

But I am curious to know…Am I the only one who is foolish enough not to consider doing anything else? Just wondering.

Advertisements

4 Comments

Filed under Peace Corps

4 responses to “Nothing Else Will Do…

  1. Lindsay Wing

    I just found your blog and I wanted to say “Hi,” because I’m going to Moldova on June 8th as well, so I will probably see you there! I could not agree with your sentiments more – I’m a Type A as well and there is nothing else I can imagine doing with my life for the next two years. The Peace Corps for me is sort of a stall plan as well – I’m not sure what I want to do two years from now, but I’m hoping that the challenges with the Peace Corps will help me grow as a person so that I have a better idea of what I want to do with my life once I complete service. Find me on Facebook – we should chat before we head out! ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. You are not the only one! It’s like that one post of mine about getting that new letter from OMS. For that one moment when my mind slipped into worst case scenario about getting rejected, one of my first thoughts was, “What am I supposed to do now?” Cuz although I say I have plan B’s like Americorps or Teach for America, I never seriously thought about them, cuz I just thought, “I’m going to Peace Corps.”

    I don’t think it’s crazy at all to want something so much your body aches with that desire and need to fulfill it. I like to think that wanting it that badly only puts that energy out into the world, willing it to be. We’re told since we’re little we can do or be whatever we want, and those who do take the bull by the horns and go for it.
    So we must go forth to the Peace Corps, grab it by the horns and hold on! ๐Ÿ™‚ C’est la vie.

    • Good to know! I feel like Peace Corps is one of those all in or all out type of deals. Either you really want it or you don’t. So maybe this just comes with the territory. ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. Samantha

    Hi there! I want to say first that I LOVED this entry. I hope that you hold on to that love and optimism despite the frustrations you will undoubtedly feel in country–it’s so powerful!

    I hope you enjoy this next month-or-so! Let me know if you have any more thoughts and I look forward to reading your updates.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s